Good evening one and all, thank you so much for stopping by, and welcome to the 2024 Wormy Film Awards. I’m your host Jackson, President of the Wormy Film Association, and I am truly honored to be back here with you celebrating another fun year at the movies.

We’ve been at this for a minute now, but in the grand scheme of things we’re very new to this whole movie awards game. As a result, we like trying new things and seeing what sticks, and yeah, sometimes I like doing a fun little stunt or gimmick to drum up ratings and whatever. But one lesson I’ve learned over the years is that sometimes the stuff that’s cool and funny to me, is the same exact stuff that makes my employees talk about me behind my back.

I do agree with some of the stuff they say though. Like that I’m not this innovative showman that everyone makes me out to be. I’m not. I’m just a guy that goes to the movies and likes to talk about the movies. And that’s okay. We didn’t become the number one independent award show ever because of celebrities or silly little jokes. It’s because we watch movies better than everyone else. So let’s get into it.

We’re starting off the night with one of our most dependable awards; this award was here in the beginning and it’ll be here at the end. Typically our deepest shortlist every year, it’s never easy to narrow it down to five, or one for that matter, because a hostile work environment is, and always will be, one of the pillars of cinema.

The nominees, for Hostile Work Environment of the Year, are:

And the Wormy goes to…

Willem Dafoe! Kinds of Kindness!

This is Willem Dafoe's second Wormy award and second nomination; Dafoe took home the inaugural Hostile Work Environment of the Year award for his work in The Lighthouse in 2019. 

First one out of the gate is a hotly contested one; in a weaker year any of these could be a more than deserving winner. But whatever the heck type of company Willem Dafoe is running in the 1st chapter of Kinds of Kindness just fits the bill too perfectly. It’s the type of dastardly work that this award was created to honor. I absolutely loved Kinds of Kindness, go watch it on Hulu in the near future, break it up into thirds if you must, it’s a wild one.

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Now this next award is one we haven’t done in a few years. Usually we don’t have a crop of nominees strong enough to warrant it but trust that I’m always on the lookout.

The nominees, for Best Cameo by a Musical Act, are:

And the Wormy goes to…

The RZA! from Problemista!

This is the RZA’s 2nd Wormy award for Best Cameo by a Musical Act; RZA took home the inaugural award for his role in The Dead Don’t Die, making him still the only person to win in this category. 

RZA is cinema personified. This is a man who loves the movies, and it shines through abundantly in his music, his performances on screen, and his behind the camera work. He has a cool voice, a calming presence about him, and the sincerity to play sort of the “emotional relief” in a comedy like Problemista. Best filmography of any Wu Tang member in my opinion; Method Man’s got him with TV credits, but RZA’s got this, Ghost Dog, Coffee and Cigarettes where he and GZA have a banger of a chapter, has a cup of coffee in American Gangster. Probably a top 7 or 8 rapper turned actor for me. 

Problemista is the funniest movie of 2024 as far as I’m concerned. Come for Tilda Swinton peak psycho acting, stay for Julio Torres saying “oh nooo” in a silly way every five minutes. Watch it on MAX immediately. 

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Last year we introduced a new award that I can’t believe we didn’t think of earlier. There are so many good songs in movies every year, and usually the hack award shows only give love to original songs, so we at the Association refused to continue that tradition.

This year the competition was so strong that we had to go ahead and put all the clips in here, cause they’re all great, enjoy.

Here are the nominees, for Best Unoriginal Song of the Year.

H.O.O.D (Kneecap) from Kneecap

The Universal (Blur, performed by Barry Keoghan) from Bird

Feeling Good (Nina Simone) from Perfect Days

Blowin in the Wind (Bob Dylan, performed by Tim Chalamet and Monica Barbaro) from A Complete Unknown

C.E.R.T.A (Kneecap) from Kneecap

And the Wormy goes to….

Kneecap! H.O.O.D, from the movie Kneecap. 

This was an incredibly tough decision, as expected. I can comfortably say these four movies used songs better than any other movies I saw this year.

Shoutout to my friend Tim, don’t let this get you down brother I know you’ll be taking home one of these soon enough. Shoutout Barry Keoghan for covering the heck out of not only a great Blur song, but a great Coldplay song as well in a movie that I adored; Bird is well worth your $5 to rent in my opinion. And obviously shoutout to the legendary Nina Simone, Perfect Days is an all-time beautiful movie due in no small part to the music.

That being said, this award belongs to the lads of Kneecap. I didn’t know a single thing about this group before I went to see the movie and I left wanting to hear every song they’ve ever made. Infectious music, banger of a film, and it still amazes me that the guys played themselves in the movie, I thought they did a tremendous job of it. And that gives them an obvious bump in this category; sure Timmy did remarkable work to resemble Bob Dylan, but at the end of the day he is not, actually, The Robert J Dylan. Tough to beat the real thing.

Go watch Kneecap on Netflix tomorrow or else you’re a dirty British sympathizer.

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Now time for one of the most important awards of the evening. An award that needs no introduction.

Your nominees, for Driver of the Year, are:

And the Wormy goes to…. 

Glen Powell, Twisters!

Man this does not get any easier. The four year drought for Adam Driver continues. This isn’t the type of thing where I’m letting other people win to prove I’m not biased. I want Adam to win this every year! My biases are as strong as ever! But my biases are no match for my integrity as an awardsmith, and these past few years have been full of incredible competition. It is what it is.

How do you compete with a dude who drives into tornados? Especially when nobody’s forcing him to do that? Glen Powell was driving his ass off in this movie: he had cool equipment, sick moves, and generally had a fun can-do attitude about the whole thing. What else can you ask for? Also, no spoilers, but at the end of the movie he does something with his car that I think would’ve gotten him sent to Guantanamo in the real world, so that’s always a plus.

Congrats Glen. I recently read The Running Man and I think there’s potential for a repeat performance in 2025.

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Next up we’ve got another permanent staple of the show, honoring another core pillar of cinema: bad fathers.

The nominees, for Shit Dad of the Year, are:

And the Wormy goes to… 

Ed Harris, from Love Lies Bleeding!

This is Ed Harris' first win, and second nomination. He previously received a True Supporting Actor nomination for his role in The Lost Daughter in 2021.

Ed Harris is the man, one of those guys that brings something special to every role I’ve seen him in and he can turn up the evil like few men on screen ever have. I won’t get too into the specifics of why he won this to avoid spoiling the movie but he beat out a literal serial killer to win this award, so take from that what you will.

Love Lies Bleeding is a great movie, real deal thriller, watch it on MAX very soon!

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And while not quite as well represented on screen, another pillar of cinema, of course, are bad mothers.

The nominees, for Shit Mom of the Year, are:

And the Wormy goes to…

Alicia Witt! Longlegs!

Again I won’t get too deep into this one to avoid spoilers. I didn’t quite love Longlegs as much as some others did, I had fun with it, but we take these awards seriously and Alicia Witt absolutely knocked this role out of the park. Respect where it’s due.

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This next award is a fun one, it’s one that we adjust every year based on what movies we get, and this year we had a, um… well I suppose we had a Batman movie of sorts this year.

Your nominees, for Best Batman Villain in a Non-Batman Movie, are:

And the Wormy goes to…

Adam Driver! Megalopolis!

This is Adam's third Wormy award, and fourteenth nomination. He most recently took home the Wormy for Jankiest Businessman of the Year for his role in Ferrari in 2023. 

Love you Adam, I hope this is a reasonable consolation for losing your own award again. My biases aside, this feels like as perfect a fit as we’ve ever had. A maniac visionary architect trying to rebuild the city in his vision, and also he can stop time? Nolan would’ve had a field day.

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Another award that’s very dear to my heart, because action movies are movies too. Some movies make you cry, some make you think, and others make you whisper “that was sick” to your friends in the theater. All are equally valid.

Here are your nominees, for Badass Moment of the Year.

Austin Butler – Dune 2

Timothee Chalamet, Dave Bautista, et al. – Dune 2

Anya Taylor-Joy, Tom Burke, et al. – Furiosa

Paul Mescal – Gladiator 2

Dev Patel – Monkey Man

And the Wormy goes to…

Anya Taylor-Joy, Tom Burke and the gang, Furiosa!

I love this movie so much, I think it’s just grand. It’s not Fury Road, but no movie ever has been or ever will be Fury Road, so that’s okay with me. This scene brought back the Fury Road feeling though for a bit, real magnificent work. We figured something from Dune 2 would be a lock this year but when we sat down to rewatch this scene our winner became obvious.

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This next award is another one that we waited too long to establish. The Wormy Film Association are proud to be the only award show to properly recognize the work of non-human actors across film.

Your nominees, for Best Non-Human Actor, are:

And the Wormy goes to….

Shai-Hulud! Dune 2!

Man, when you’re going into a year with a Godzilla x Kong movie on the slate, a regular non-human actor would emotionally pack it in, you know, better luck next year, no shame in losing to a couple of the all-time A-listers. But that’s not Shai-Hulud. It never has been. He trusted in the work he’s put in all these years and it finally paid off. Every time he showed up on screen his presence was undeniable, he and Chalamet had great chemistry, and dare I say if Shai-Hulud were to pop up in a Godzilla or a Kong movie, I would expect him to not only hold his own, but steal the show.

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And as per tradition, we finish off our proceedings this evening with our most important award, the one that separates the guys from the men, the dudes from the fellas.

Here are your nominees, for Guys Being Dudes Moment of the Year:

Mikey Madison, Mark Eydelshteyn, et al. – Anora

Mike Faist, Josh O’Connor, and Zendaya – Challengers

Izaac Wang, Raul Dial, and Sunil Mukherjee Maurillo – Dìdi

Mo Chara, Móglaí Bap, and DJ Próvaí – Kneecap

Koji Yakusho, Arisa Nakano – Perfect Days

And the Wormy goes to…

Mike Faist, Josh O’Connor, and Zendaya, from Challengers!

This one just felt right. When it was first brought up as a potential winner, there were arguments in the office that definitely teetered into homophobia at times. But once things settled down it became clear there was no other choice. This is the kind of scene that movies were invented to depict. As good as it gets. Bravo.

Thank you everyone for hanging with us tonight, it means the world to us to have such a loyal supporting of people who also enjoy the movies, you guys make this the easiest job a dude could have. Until next year, we love you all, be safe, drink water, and go to more movies.

Peace!

Awards that were presented prior to the show for time purposes:

True Supporting Actor: Karren Karagulian – Anora

True Supporting Actress: Greta Lee – Problemista

Best Product of Nepotism: Saleka – Trap

2028 Presidential Candidate of the Year: Immortan Joe – Furiosa

Coolest Teacher of the Year: DJ Próvaí – Kneecap